FIELD REPORT // SUBJECT: SHEILA

I’m extremely lazy.
My biceps disagree.

Systems analyst in training, professional procrastinator by self-diagnosis. I keep 55 ducklings fed, walk before sunrise, read English novels to study, panic-sell good stocks, and prep for the analyst life. All of it is training for one plan: a chill, sweet-as life in Wellington.

keeper of 55 ducklings 4 AM walker reformed day trader Wellington-bound
Daily auditFri, Jun 26, 2026
  • Slow day after the ADA test. Woke up at 5 AM, so the morning walk got skipped.
  • Slow farm morning - ducks still at 55, fed and unbothered.
  • Bought ANTM and TLKM. Sheer panic as ANTM climbed, then grabbed it at 2660 on the afternoon dip.
  • Cooked dinner, then more Norwegian Wood - got a real shudder at Naoko and Toru's part.
3 / 4 logged. Procrastination recalculated to 25%.

Live procrastination meter

25%

Recalculated against today’s audit - up to 25% after a slow, walk-free day. Drag if you think I’m being generous.

> verdict: A slow one - woke at 5, skipped the walk, drifted a little.

01The contradiction

The active procrastinator paradox

On paper I am the laziest person I know. In practice I keep ending up sweaty, out of breath, and noticeably stronger. The two facts have refused to reconcile for years. Below is the evidence, presented without comment (a little comment).

THE CLAIM

“I’m lazy.”

Master of the strategic nap. Believes any task gets easier if you wait long enough. Will reschedule an alarm just to win an argument with the morning.

THE EVIDENCE

The arms say otherwise

Up at 4:00 AM for a 2-5 km walk before the world is even rude yet. Visible muscle definition has arrived in the upper arms and legs, courtesy of running and weightlifting. Procrastination, it turns out, does not show up in a mirror.

4AM
alarm, every single day
2-5km
walk before sunrise
naps scheduled after
From the journal
Fri, Jun 26, 2026

Yesterday was a slow day - not much to do once the ADA test was behind me. I bought ANTM and TLKM, and ANTM put me through it: the price kept rising and I panicked, then by the afternoon it dipped and I finally grabbed it at 2660.

I didn’t walk, since I only woke up at 5. A slow farm morning, too - my ducks are still 55 - and I cooked dinner. After that I went back to Norwegian Wood and got a real shudder reading Naoko and Toru’s part.

slow day ANTM @ 2660 + TLKM ducks still 55 Naoko & Toru
02Systems analyst stuff

The system architecture of my life

I design complex architectures, ERDs, and workflow diagrams for fun. So naturally I mapped myself as a system. Tap any service to inspect it. Yes, this is a coping mechanism. It is also normalized to third normal form.

architecture-of-me.drawio · v6.0
fed bypowersbuildsfundssharpenspauseddreams ofSHEILA_COREPRIMARY ENTITYduck_daemonflock: 55fitness_svcboots @ 4AManalyst_prepcompiling...trading_engineequity: 1.98M IDRreading_queueEN study modenihongo_modulePAUSED @ ch.8wellington.dreamstatus: PENDING

// hover or tap a node to read its docs

Money, at a glance

The bottom line so far

Two books, kept strictly apart: the duck farm and the brokerage account. One feeds birds, the other feeds my anxiety.

Lala’s Farm
Duck farm
Rp 823.000debt

Outstanding feed bill: Rp 175.000 old plus Rp 648.000 new. The ducklings eat first, I settle up later.

Stockbit
Portfolio
Rp 1.065.000RDN cash

Freed up after selling UNVR (+Rp 69.000). Now holding DSSA (non-Shariah, down Rp 39.000) plus fresh buys: ANTM at 2660 and TLKM.

The full books - debt, RDN cash, holdings, and feed costs - live on the finance site.

Open the finance site
03The flock

Down to fifty-five ducklings, and slower mornings

The flock just got smaller. I sold all 16 adult ducks on Wednesday, so it’s just the ducklings now - 55 of them, and the garden feels different for it. Mornings are quieter, slower, a little less of a festival. Still twice-a-day feedings, just a calmer crowd.

Flock census

55ducklings left,
counted this morning
0
adults, all sold off
55
ducklings, gentle chaos

Adult duck sale

Wed, Jun 24, 2026
  • 15 ducks × Rp 70.000Rp 1.050.000
  • 1 duck × Rp 55.000Rp 55.000
  • 16 adults soldRp 1.105.000

Today’s feedings

0 / 2 done

> nobody fed yet. The ducklings are giving me a look.

04Feed ledger

What the flock actually eats

Ducklings are small but relentless. Here is the running feed ledger: unit price per pack, how many packs each has burned through, and what it has cost so far. The 122 concentrate is stocked but not opened yet.

Feed inventory
3 ITEMS
  • Corn Gluten CakeCGC · per pack
    Unit: Rp 126.000Used: 4 packsRp 504.000
  • Sweet Corn PulpSCP · per pack
    Unit: Rp 72.000Used: 2 packsRp 144.000
  • 122 Concentrate122 · per pack
    Unit: Rp 415.000Used: unopened-
Packs used
6
Feed spent
Rp 648.000
Costliest pack
122 Concentrate
05A cautionary tale

Sheila's short-lived Wall Street career

For one brief, shining moment I was a day trader on Stockbit. The career spanned roughly one dip. Here is the full post-mortem, conducted by the only analyst qualified to roast the subject: me.

Trade post-mortem
CASE CLOSED
Deposited
Rp 2.000.000
The dip
-0.8%
Dividend missed
Rp 45.800
Current equity
Rp 1.983.780
  1. THE STAKE

    Deposited Rp 2.000.000 of dividend-hunting capital

    Funded the account with real, hard-earned rupiah and a plan to collect dividends like a calm, rational adult.

  2. THE BUY

    4 lots of PTBA @ Rp 2.590

    Bought in with conviction, a spreadsheet, and the calm of someone who has clearly figured out the market.

  3. JUN 22, AM

    A 0.8% dip appears

    The chart wobbles by less than one percent. My amygdala interprets this rounding error as a personal attack.

  4. JUN 22, PANIC

    Panic-sold on the cum-dividend date

    Sold everything on the exact day I needed to hold to qualify for the payout. Impeccable, surgical timing.

  5. THE BILL

    Missed a Rp 45.800 dividend

    Forty-five thousand eight hundred rupiah of free money, waved goodbye to, voluntarily, by me.

Strategy: buy high, sell low, miss the dividend. The true trader’s way.

06English study list

Reading to study English

The reading list doubles as English practice: real novels, real sentences, and a notebook for every word I have to look up. Reading for the story and the language at once feels like the most efficient multitasking I do all week.

In progress
Past Ch. 3

Norwegian Wood

Haruki Murakami

Still going, past Chapter 3 now. Hit the Naoko and Toru passage and got an actual shudder - the quiet, aching kind Murakami is so good at. Melancholic afternoon vibes, fully achieved.

On deck
Up next

Heaven

Mieko Kawakami

Quieter, sharper, a little devastating. Lined up right behind the Murakami, notebook ready.

read with teavocab notebook: activegoal: fluent enough for Wellington
07On hold

Japanese, paused at chapter 8

Before the English reading list took over, there was Japanese. I worked through Minna no Nihongo up to Chapter 8 - adjectives - and then hit pause to put my energy into English instead. Not abandoned, just bookmarked. The textbook is still on the shelf, slightly judging me.

minna_no_nihongo // progress8 / 8 done, then paused
  1. 01Greetings & introductions
  2. 02This is a pen
  3. 03Numbers, dates & time
  4. 04Verbs go places
  5. 05Counting things
  6. 06Past tense
  7. 07Giving & receiving
  8. 08Adjectives - paused here
Status: shelved for now to focus on the English reading list.
08The actual career

System analyst prep, in progress

Under all the ducks and dividends, this is the real build: prepping for the systems analyst life. The diagrams I draw recreationally are, it turns out, also the homework. Convenient.

Data modeling

ERDs, normalization to third normal form, and relationships I diagram for fun before anyone asks.

Process & workflows

Swimlanes, state machines, and sequence diagrams for systems that may or may not exist yet.

Systems analysis

Requirements, architecture, the bridge between what people want and what a system can actually do.

status: compiling a career, one diagram at a time.

09The application

Apple Developer Academy

The big one I’m actually chasing. The online test is behind me; next come the results and, if things go well, the interviews. Here is where the pipeline stands.

Admissions pipeline
TEST PASSED
  1. Online test completed

    Thu, Jun 25, 2026

    Sat the Apple Developer Academy online assessment and got it done. First gate, cleared.

  2. Results expected

    ~ 2 weeks out

    Roughly a two-week wait for the verdict. Refreshing my inbox at a frankly unhealthy cadence.

  3. Focus groups & interviews begin

    Wed, Jul 8, 2026

    FGD and interviews kick off. Time to prep talking points and pretend I'm calm.

10Known bug

Architects galaxy-brained systems. Defeated by one logic puzzle.

I will happily spend a weekend modeling a workflow with branching states, edge cases, and a normalized schema. Then a basic IQ test asks me which shape comes next and my entire nervous system files an incident report.

COMFORT ZONE

Complexity I do for fun, unpaid, on a Saturday:

  • 12-table ERD, fully normalized
  • swimlane workflow with 3 actors
  • state machine for a vending machine that does not exist
  • sequence diagram nobody requested
PANIC ZONE

“Which figure completes the sequence?”

?
status: sweating
11The target deployment

One day, Wellington.
Sweet as.

Every other section on this page is, technically, staging. The production environment is a chill, sweet-as life in Wellington: green hills, that famous wind, a flat white that takes itself seriously, and a pace slow enough that even a self-certified procrastinator looks productive. The ducks, the diagrams, the English reading - all of it is pointed here. I regret nothing.

Green hills
Serious coffee
Te Whanganui-a-Tara
One-way, eventually
status: PENDING · deploying soon™

END OF REPORT

Fifty-five ducklings, two novels, one academy test passed, Wellington-bound in spirit.

That’s me right now: a normalized contradiction with surprisingly defined arms, a quieter feeding schedule, one fewer dividend than I should have, and an academy interview to prep for. Thanks for reading the documentation.

compiled Mon, Jun 22, 2026 · somewhere between a duck feed and a nap